It was times like these that I really missed Hachiko and his ability to aggressively burn down obstacles in my path.
I eventually settled into a pattern of walking a bit ahead of Bubba, withdrawing him to his Pokeball, releasing him in front of me, walking ahead of him again, and repeating. This way my Slowpoke still got his essential daily exercise and I was actually able to spend less than a fortnight traveling the length of a city block.
In spite of this, I had still grown a full beard by the time I got out of Ilex Forest.
Obviously I was in a bit of a rush to find a place where I could settle down and shave this unsightly bush off my face lest I be mistaken for a filthy hipster, so naturally this would be the time where I hear a painfully familiar voice calling out in the distance.
"Grandpa!" yelled Lyra as she approached me.
I found this deeply offensive.
"Look, I know that it may not be the most attractive assemblage of hair," I explained, "but-"
"Good work, Grandpa!" Lyra addressed the elderly man in front of me. "The Pokemon you raised for me has been as healthy as can be!"
Fantastic. This meant I could sneak past her without her noticing. I began tiptoeing past Lyra and her grandfather like a cartoon villain and was almost in the clear when I received an unfortunately timed call on my PokeGear from someone whom I am positive wanted to tell me about his Rattata.
Lyra whipped her head around and exclaimed, "Oh hi, Jack!"
"Damn it, Joey," I cursed under my breath.
Lyra then proceeded to forcefully drag me through a tutorial on Pokemon Day Cares, a subject which I assure you I am already quite familiar with. This mentally painful process also involved my purely-platonic-at-best relationship with Lyra being called into question at least twice. But when it was finally over, I was only a short walk away from finally being able to plant my feet firmly on Goldenrod City pavement. And it only took me about three weeks.
To be continued...
Read the rest of ActionJ4ck's Jacklocke challenges here.