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Tuesday, December 27, 2016

Pokemon SoulSilver Jacklocke Part 9

I heard a voice seething with intensity speak from beside me.

"Tell me something..."

I froze before the gate leading out of Azalea Town like a Stantler in the headlights. I swallowed my last bite of delicious nutritious Slowpoke tail and slowly turned my fear-filled head towards the voice.



"Is it true that Team Rocket has returned?" the red-haired boy said.

"Oh, it's just you. That's not so bad. Um, yeah, I chased them off and stole their Slowpoke tails, actually."




"What? You beat them?"

"Uh huh. Maybe I shouldn't have told you that last bit."

"Hah! Quit lying."

I pulled another tail out from my backpack and offered it to him.

"Want one?"

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah, they're not bad."

"Then let's see how good you are."

"Oh, you meant about beating Team Rocket. Uh, okay."

I didn't even have a chance to put the Slowpoke tail away before he threw a Gastly out at me. I shrugged my shoulders and started munching on the tail while I threw out Nightwing with my free hand. My Zubat knocked out both his Gastly and Bayleef with one hit each and Newcraig handled his Zubat similar to how a night club bouncer handles drunk men who weigh less than a hundred pounds.

After the battle he just kind of glared at me. I don't really know why, seeing as how he was the one that initiated it.

"I hate the weak," he spat.

"Self-esteem issues, huh?" I gloated with a mouthful of food.

"Pokemon, Trainers. It doesn't matter who or what. I hate to see them hanging around."

"Maybe you should stay inside more then. Maybe play some video games. Have you tried Sun and Moon yet?"

"That goes for Team Rocket, too. They think they are big and tough as long as..."

It was at this point that I realized he was too occupied with monologuing to really pay any attention to me and I also wasn't all that interested in the conversation to begin with. So I just strolled away.

"Man, that guy's a bigger douche that Buttock," I thought. "What was his name again?"

As my mind became lost in thoughts of my old neighbor and how much I hated every fiber of his being, I somehow also became literally lost.

"Crap."


"Since when was I in a forest?"

I wandered around for somewhere between one hour and one day until my ears perked up in response to a strange noise in the distance.

Badonk.

Badonk.

Badonk.

I followed the noise into a small clearing where I found a man of average stature repeatedly smashing his head against the trunk of a tree.


Before realizing that this situation was not dissimilar to the introduction of demonic possession in horror movies, I called out the stranger, "Hail, friend. Pray tell, what motivates you to risk a concussion at such regular intervals?"

The man turned to face me, saying, "What am I doing?"

"Yes, I suppose that is how a normal person would have phrased that question."

"I'm shaking trees using Headbutt."

"As in the Pokemon move? Are you sure you're not supposed to be leaving that to your Pokemon?"

"It's fun. Here, you try it with your Pokemon, too!"

He then offered to tutor one of my Pokemon in the art of smashing his or her head against a tree, which I quickly determined was a useful skill to have. I called Lockjaw the Croconaw and Bubba the Slowpoke out of their Pokeballs and instructed them to watch carefully as the stranger of Ilex Forest rammed his noggin into the tree trunk several times. They were surprisingly receptive, though Lockjaw's mandible did have to be detached from my arm several times during the lesson.

I hope that you are aware what having two Pokemon with knowledge of the move Headbutt means. It was time...for a Headbutt party.

To be continued...

Read the rest of ActionJ4ck's Jacklocke challenges here.


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