Tuesday, September 13, 2016

FireRed Jacklocke Part 11






“Why are there so many trainers in a place with no light?”


With several stubbed toes, a broken nose, and a significantly changed party, I stumbled out of the pitch darkness Rock Tunnel and into the blinding brightness of Route 10.

It was so dark in there that I didn’t even know that Bruce evolved until I took this picture. I still don’t know when I caught a Geodude.

Anyway, I headed south from the Rock Tunnel entrance with my eyes still covered up by my sleeve while I waited for my corneas to stop being on fire. I listened my way through the rest of Route 10 and eventually found myself listening to what sounded like a musical amalgam of those alleged “spectral voices” that they record on those ghost hunter shows on the Science Channel. By the way, that network is really loose with their use of the word “science”.

Having regained my ability to see, I walked through the town entrance to the nearest citizen and asked, “Where the heck is that music coming from?”

He slowly turned to face me and with a voice as emotionless and cold as a rock in a refrigerator said, “Ghosts appeared in Pokemon Tower.”

I wiped my eyes with my sleeve a bit more since I was still experiencing a little burning sensation. Upon opening them again, I found myself totally alone.

“Oh, hell no,” I said aloud. Then I left from the other side of the town.

“I’m just going to forget that. I’m just going to forget that. I’m going to keep walking, and I’m just going to forget that,” I repeated to myself until I finally forgot what I was telling myself to forget. Now all that I had to do was forget that there was something that I had just forgotten so that I don’t risk accidentally remembering the forgotten thing that I just forgot.

“Oh, a Growlithe!” I suddenly exclaimed and immediately forgot that I was just trying to forget about having forgotten the thing I just forgot.

He’s so cute. I named him Hachiko. Hopefully this story ends better for both of us though. After catching and naming my new friend, I continued west until I got to Saffron City, but was rudely turned around by some thirsty guy. I then had to take an underground tunnel so I could travel underneath the fricken city because God-forbid anybody enter a public metropolis in this country. As I was walking across the long hallway which is long because, you know, it’s meant to bypass a whole fricken city, I realized that I never remembered to cash in that bike voucher the old guy from the Pokemon Fan Club gave to me. Whoops.

I eventually reached Celadon City, which I thought was supposed to be better than Saffron City anyway, but as soon as I walked in some guy dressed all in black shouted at me to keep out of Team Rocket’s way. If I recall correctly, Team Rocket had that one guy with the lousy recruiting tactics. It made me wonder how this guy managed to join.

Now, I will be the first person to admit that I am far from the world’s most decorated navigator, so I won’t bother denying that I got a tad bit lost while trying to find my way to Celadon City’s famous department store. Somehow I ended up on the roof of an office building. I’m not positive how I got there per se, but I’m sure that it somehow involved unlabeled staircases. Regardless, I wandered about the roof and found a small room with a sign by the front door which said “I KNOW EVERYTHING” in large capital letters.

“Perfect,” I said. “That means he can tell me how to get the heck to get out of here.”

Inside I found a solitary man writing on a blackboard alone. He was nice. He told me where to go and he gave me a free Eevee. I named him Minato for reasons that will soon become apparent.

Thought I’m a bit embarrassed to admit it, since it was my first time in Celadon City I wanted to do all the touristy stuff first. I visited the famous Celadon Department Store and bought a few surprises for Hachiko and Minato to make them feel more like part of the family. I tossed a coin in the Celadon Fountain and wished that Buttock would trip and fall down a flight of stairs. Just to convince you that I’m not a terrible person, I would like to clarify that I didn’t wish for him to fall down a long staircase, just a staircase. I then went to Celadon Game Corner, famous for being the only casino in Kanto that has no qualms about letting ten-year-old children to gamble away their allowance on slot machines. It was awesome.

Having finished my fun, I looked over my party…

…and noticed they were a bit lacking in training at the moment. So I let each of them out of their Pokeballs and gathered them in a line ahead of me.

“Lady and gentlemen,” I announced to them. “It has come to my attention that we are falling a bit behind in terms of leveling. As such, it is time for us to put our noses to the grindstone and get ourselves strong enough to take on these next few gyms. So,” I continued rhythmically, “let’s get down to business, to defeat the Huns.”

Each of them looked at each other quizzically.

“Okay, so it looks like I need to show you all Mulan.”

That night we watched Mulan together. Twice. Bruce in particular loved it. The next day I lined them all up again.

“Okay, so now,” and I spoke in rhythm again, “let’s get down to business, to defeat the Huns.”
They growled, grunted, and barked in agreement, and so we spent the next several days training in both combat and in the art of fine dining while I blared I’ll Make a Man Out of You on over and over again on Youtube. I was very satisfied with the results.

To be continued…

Read the rest of ActionJ4ck's Jacklocke challenge here.

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