I kicked down the door of Vermilion City Gym and pointed a menacing finger across the room at its gym leader.
The massive blonde man in green fatigues gasped aloud. “But how did you manage to get past the security bush outside?”
I held up the decapitated head of Cerulean City’s gym leader, Misty. And by “decapitated head”, I of course mean gym badge.
“Hmm, not bad, little punk. You’ve proven you’ve got the brawn, but now let’s see if you’ve got the brains. If you want to make it past my supercharged electrical fence, you’re going to have to find the secret switch hidden somewhere in this gym.”
I looked around at the fifteen trash cans scattered throughout the gym floor.
“Is it in one of these garbage cans?”
Lt. Surge leaned over to the flunky beside him and whispered, “This kid’s good.” He then addressed me, saying, “Perhaps, but which one?”
I sighed deeply and began rummaging through the trash, both disgusted by the smell of rotting banana peels and fascinated by the copious amounts of disposable toothbrushes I found. Eventually I found the switches to unlock the fence barring my way. I approached the commander-turned-gym-leader, stared him straight in the eye and said, “Is there someplace I can wash my hands?”
He laughed out loud and glowered down at me, saying, “Your about to have bigger problems then dirty hands, little punk.”
And the battle begun.
I sent out little Dig Dug while taking great care not to get too much disgusting trash grease on his Pokeball.
Surge let out a huge sigh upon seeing my Diglett.
“Screw it,” he said. “Just take the damn Thunderbadge.”
Dig Dug and I recoiled in surprise.
“You’re giving up just like that?”
He shrugged his shoulders. “There’s no point kid. I can’t do anything against a fricken Ground-type that we can’t even out-speed.”
“You know there’s like a whole cave of these things two blocks away from here, right?”
He let out another huge sigh. “Trust me, kid, I am very aware of that. I have to order these Thunderbadges wholesale because of that stupid Diglett Cave.”
“Alright,” I shrugged. “I guess I didn’t even need to evolve Tyrant into a Nidoking for this battle.”
“You don’t have to be rude about it.”
I grabbed my Thunderbadge and was just about to exit the gym when I remembered the real reason that I came.
“Tell me something, Surge. How do you spell vermillion?”
He slammed his hand into his face as he exclaimed, “Good god, don’t even get me started on that ‘one L’ bull crap.”
“I like you, Lieutenant.”
“I wish I could say the same. Get out.”
At long last, I could put Stalker’s death behind me and leave Vermilion City with full confidence that I was right all along: vermillion is spelt with two L’s. I was just about to head out through the north road when I saw the familiar face of one of Professor Oak’s aides.
“Oh, hi Jack! Say, have you seen Professor Oak’s other aide yet? He has a gift for you from the professor. The last time I heard, he was searching for you around Route 2.”
“Oh really? Where is Route 2 again?”
“I believe you’ve already been there, actually. It’s the route that’s just south of Pewter City, you know the town with the fossil muse-”
I’m sure there must have been more to that sentence, but whatever it was it was drowned out by some lunatic who may have been me screaming “FOSSILS!” at the top of his lungs as he sprinted away in a mad frenzy. The next thing I remember I was on the floor of Diglett Cave, covered in dust, and had an Old Amber, an HM for Flash, and six more ticket stubs from the Pewter Museum of Science in my backpack. I picked myself up, dusted myself off, shrugged my shoulders, and started making my way back out of Diglett Cave. As you may have ascertained by this point in my adventure, fossil-induced comas are not an uncommon occurrence for me.
I continued wandering through Diglett Cave for the next few minutes, thoroughly enjoying the bonding time that I was getting with my oldest friend Bacchus. As I watched him dispatch Diglett after Diglett, I began to look back at the adventure that we had shared thus far, smiling pleasantly at the memory of our time together. I was snapped out of my dream by the sound of something larger than a Diglett bursting out of the ground beneath our feet. Bacchus and I scattered just in time to avoid the claws of the vicious Dugtrio as it tried to swipe at our feet. It was level 29. Same as Bacchus.
I knew that such a fast opponent needed to be defeated just as fast.
“Razor Leaf!” I ordered.
Bacchus shot his attack at the Dugtrio, but it ducked underground in the blink of an eye to avoid the hit. Just as quickly as it disappeared, it popped itself out of the ground and sent Bacchus into the air with almost half his health.
“Another Razor Leaf!” I ordered again, now with a hint of panic seeping into my voice.
Still in the air, Bacchus shot his leaves again and this time managed a direct hit, taking our opponent down to half health also. Realizing that we needed to leave or else risk another life, I made to grab Bacchus and run for it, but a whirlwind of sand rose up from the dirt and engulfed my Pokemon, cutting us off from each other.
Sand Tomb: a move that prevents escape.
The worst feeling in the world is knowing that there is nothing you can do. The Dugtrio popped in and out of the ground repeatedly, each time getting just a bit closer to my weakened Pokemon. I watched in horror as the threat grew closer and closer to my friend. The wild Pokemon dug into the ground once more and I immediately knew that it was going in for the kill.
“Bacchus!” I screamed in desperation.
And with the grace of an Olympic acrobat on his gold medal performance, Bacchus leaped into the air, oriented himself to face downward, and launched his Razor Leaf at the ground just as the Dugtrio burrowed its way out of it. The Sand Tomb immediately subsided after that moment.
With a hefty sigh of relief, I walked over to Bacchus, plopped myself on the ground next to him and gently patted my friend on the head.
“Nice one, buddy.”
To be continued…
Read the rest of ActionJ4ck's Jacklocke challenge here.