“Congratulations! You beat our five contest trainers!”
“I was in a contest?”
“You just earned a fabulous prize!”
He handed me a golden nugget.
“By the way, how would you like to join Team Rocket?”
“Sure, what’s that?”
“We’re a group of professional criminals specializing in Pokemon!”
“Sure, that sounds awesome. Have you ever seen Breaking Bad?”
“Want to join?”
“Yes, I told you that.”
“Are you sure?”
“You are not listening to me.”
“Come on, join us!”
“We seem to be having separate conversations.”
“I’m telling you to join!”
“And I’m telling you that I’ll join.”
“…Okay, you need convincing!”
“I really don’t, no.”
“I’ll make you an offer you can’t refuse.”
“Can I speak to your supervisor?”
The guy then proceeded to attack me with an Ekans. I don’t know who put this guy in charge of recruiting, but it was clearly a decision that was not thought out.
“With your ability, you’d become a top leader in Team Rocket.”
“It sounds like it doesn’t take much.”
“Come on, think of this opportunity! Don’t let this chance go to waste.”
“Do I get health insurance?”
That went utterly nowhere. Normally this only happens when I respond to job offers that I receive in my spam folder, except I didn’t even have to give him my social security number for him to stop talking to me. I ditched him and caught a Caterpie that I named Pipi and a level 14 Oddish that I named Ralph for literally no reason at all. I then proceeded to smash through the nine trainers of Route 25 like the wrecking ball that my team is. Together we drank up the experience points like a milkshake and ended up as such:
Upon reaching Cerulean Cape I found a small cottage owned by Bill, the supposed Pokemaniac that invented the PC storage system. I entered, hoping to tell him what a big fan I was and possibly ask for his autograph and if he would want to get coffee together and become best friends forever, but instead found this grotesque, mutilated Clefairy with the face of a human.
“Hiya! I’m Bill,” gargled the monstrosity.
I turned around, shut the door, and did my best to wipe that entire scene from my memory.
A returned to Cerulean City and noticed a bit of a commotion outside one of the houses on the outskirts of town. I asked a nearby officer and was informed that this was a crime scene and a theft had occurred here. I was permitted to enter the afflicted private property, as anybody should, and carefully inspected the area. I turned to the nearby officer and said, “Have you checked the backyard yet?”
Taking the law into my own hands like Liam Neeson in Taken, I strolled into the backyard and dressed a suspiciously dark-clad man looking around nervously.
“Hey, have you tried talking to guy standing the backyard here?” I called back to the policeman.
“Good idea, I’ll do that after my lunch break!” he called back.
Satisfied that justice would eventually be dispensed by the proper authorities, I made to walk past the potential culprit. He shouted in indignation that he was an innocent bystander and threw his Pokemon at me. Bacchus cleaned his clock though, so no worries.
Stomping criminals has a tendency to make me a bit peckish, so I ventured down to Route 5 for a picnic. I let Bacchus, Bruce, and Tyrant out of their balls to relax and play around a little while I made everyone’s tuna sandwiches. As I performed my repetitive task, I watched my Pokemon as they moved around. Bruce rushed headfirst into the nearby trees and swung around the limbs, examining anything and everything of interest. Bacchus dug around in the dirt next to me, perhaps looking for something in particular. I like to think that he was searching for fossils like the perfect little Ivysaur he is. Tyrant, meanwhile, simply lay on the grass next to me watching the surroundings diligently. I turned to add the last sandwich to the rest of the tray but found them all gone. I whipped around and immediately found the culprit. Luckily one of the very few things that puts Bacchus into a bad mood is hunger, and so with minimal effort from him this Meowth, now called Stalker, was mine.
To be continued…
Read the rest of ActionJ4ck's Jacklocke challenge here.