The lady at the Pokemon Center assured me several times that Vermin was not carrying any diseases, giving me a newfound feeling of guilt about the nickname and the gloves. But I have no regrets. Safety first. After this visit, I traveled west to Route 22, where I encountered the next addition to my team, a level 3 Mankey. Two tackles and a pair of Poke Balls later, he was mine. I intended to name him “Bruce” after the small but almighty Bruce Lee, but then realized that this Mankey was not a he, but rather a she. I decided to stick with Bruce anyway, because my precious Mankey doesn’t have to conform to your societal standards.
With my ever-growing party of thugs in tow I headed north of Viridian City, ready to meet my next friend. Obviously not noticing the several Poke Balls at my belt, a freshly-caffeinated old man insisted that he show me show me how to catch a Pokemon, similar to how my grandfather would force me to watch M*A*S*H. After this entirely redundant lesson, I headed north again and captured a Pidgey, whom I named “Overwatch” and a Weedle named “Pawn”.
At this point, I looked around at my team and realized that there are five different Pokemon here try to split the meager experience points of a level 4 Caterpie. My family had grown too big for the resources available to me. And so, like any parent, I decided that the best thing to do would be to drop a few and pour my attention into the ones with the most potential to get me into a good nursing home. I gathered my party before me and loudly declared, “I hereby declare the 2016 Summer Pokelympic games begun!”
I tested each Pokemon thoroughly with a series of rigorous examinations of physique and poise. Bruce dominated the gymnastics competition, but Overwatch managed to pull barely ahead in the race to swim across an inexplicably green (but supposedly safe) pool that was also two centimeters shorter than the standard size. Granted, she did simply fly over it but I still have to give her credit since I never specifically said that she couldn't do that. And last, but not least, was the evening wear competition in which Bacchus the Bulbasaur stunned with a well-tailored Armani suit with an olive green waistcoat and tie, coupled with a silver pocket watch passed down in the Saur family for generations.
Though the judging was difficult, I feel that I made the right decision. Bacchus, Bruce, and Vermin would continue their journey with me while Pawn and Overwatch would be placed into storage. You might question as to why I chose to keep Vermin with me, to which I will simply reply that you did not see her in that yellow sequined dress. It was positively lovely. I’m beginning to feel a bit bad about that nickname.
To be continued...
Edited 8/16/2016 at 12:55pm for grammar.
Read the rest of ActionJ4ck's Jacklocke challenge here.